Dress for SEXcess

26894355

By: ScissorMan

Read: 09 Jan 2016

 

I want to start out with a statement – I very much dislike rating books less than a four or five star rating on most sites. And while the starred ratings are different for various sites, they still essentially mean the same thing.

5 stars = awesome!

1 star = this book was totally not for me.

Well, this book was totally not for me. I have nothing against the author in particular, and will likely never run into this individual in person. I received this copy through GoodReads First Reads, in exchange for an honest review (<-disclaimer statement), and oh, boy! Are you ever going to get my honest opinion!

That said, this book turned me off in so many ways, and it just kept adding to the pile. I was taught at a young age to respect books, so this one will be passed around until it finds a happy home, or falls apart from multiple readings. It will be read.

I was also taught to be a ‘young lady’. Don’t show alot of skin, carefully protect your reputation, and don’t be loose with the guys. The author describes meeting his future wife in high school, and spending quite a bit of time ‘making out’ with her. I would have been locked indoors if I had been running around with guys at 16 and 17, especially in the short-short white shorts the author describes his girl used to wear. In the 50s! He even describes at one point hugging on her without her bra on while hiding outside her house in the dark, but calling her a proper lady and one who was raised to be ‘conservative’.

Trust me, if this lady was ever ‘conservative’, she ain’t now.

He also spends an entire chapter at the beginning repeating himself about her being a virgin, him being a virgin, and her being his Princess, and he her Prince Charming, and that “all” girls want to be a princess and to find their prince charming.

Yeah, no.

I never wanted or needed a ‘Prince Charming’. I wanted to be Robin Hood, to wield Excalibur, to have the noble steed! I grew up with Princess Aurora, and believed that I could do anything (and more!) that the boys could. And I have (but that’s another story).

The all-inclusive terminology didn’t stop there, and proceeded throughout the entire book. It got exasperating more than once about the all-inclusive sentiments. “All men”, “all gals”, “every husband”, etc. Sorry, man, not everyone is the same.

Besides being repetitive and claiming that he has the perfect marriage, and is living the fairy-tale life, he also contradicts himself. In their personal story, the author states that neither him or his wife have any exs, and no past relationships, but also states that they both dated and had met others before getting married.

“By mutual agreement, we both dated many other people while I was away for my first two years at college…” (pg 18)

And…

“Neither one of us has an ex from any relationship with any other boy or girl in our pasts.” (pg 22)

Is followed in the same paragraph with:

“We never went past simple kissing with anyone else in our dating pasts.” (pg 22)

A quick look back at my initial reaction to this book says alot:

Erma Talamante So far, this book is painful and sexist. Maybe it’ll get better as it goes on, but even my man has expressed that this book is ridiculous, so I kinda doubt it.

Going to have him review it, and a single male friend review it as well. One thing is for sure, this one copy will get passed around, and may even get *gasp!* written in as we all make notes.

The intro letter included with the book, though, was the first thing to catch my attention, and warn me of the sexist material in the book… “All of you wives need to read chapter 2 to get a better understanding of what is designed into a man’s DNA […] Hopefully many of you wives will stop wasting time arguing about, or at least, worrying about how your husband does notice other women.”

REALLY?!?!

And the book just continues from there. Another member of GoodReads asked:

Is this book a joke? This has to be a joke.

There are two answers to that question. One from the author:

ScissorMan No, the book is not a joke.

Married sex should be a lot of fun if you are doing it right. And variety is one of the main ways to keep a long term sex life alive and well. Happy lovers can always use some ideas to expand their love making repertoire, and that is exactly what the book is designed to do.

The Goodreads review by Coleen concludes “I think the book delivers on its promises and what it intended! “, and that is no Joke.

And the other answer by myself:

Erma Talamante Yes! It apparently is, having read this book cover to cover.


Frequently the author writes about his ‘wife’ as a thing, justifies watching and looking at pornography as ‘research’, and advises that ‘smart women’ will do anything to make their men happy.
He also states that is book will become ‘required reading’ in ‘whorehouses’ and brothels. This bit was hilarious!Good for a laugh, but not much else.
You can read the original, along with the member’s response to my answer here on GoodReads.
At the time I finished reading this book, and posted my initial review, there were only two reviews for this book on GoodReads. There were only five on Amazon. I won’t post them here, but you can read them here, again on GoodReads, and here on Amazon. Since Amazon has been in trouble in the recent past for selling their reviews, I don’t put alot of stock into the five 5-star reviews there. (You can read more about that here.)
Interesting note, one of the reviews seems to be written by the author himself (same writing voice, and all but claims it in the review). I don’t know this for certain, so I will let you see if you can pick up on the influence, too.
But back to the book content:
GoodReads is one of my favorite reading sites, in case you haven’t guessed, and they have a nifty feature where you can post where you are in a book, along with quotes, notes, and whatever else you’d like to share with other readers. I have found this a useful tool for multiple reasons – the big two are references for future reviews, and digital bookmarking in case my little one pulls my bookmarks (which has happened).
I used this tool quite a bit with this book. Here is my unedited complete updates:

Reading Progress

10/30 marked as: read
10/30 marked as: to-read
12/18 marked as: currently-reading
12/23 page 32 12.0% A smart wife will frequently change her wardrobe…

WOW! This guy is a hoot! I think many men would actually argue to the latter, but even that is beside the point.
This guy makes a TON of assumptions and generalizations. “Every girl” “Every man” etc. It’s amazing, really.
As I keep saying… When I finally get through this, this book is going to be passed around like a wh*re.”

12/28 page 40 16.0% If she ever responds negatively, give her this book and tell her to read this “Mind Groping” chapter 2. [sic]
There could be a lot more happy husbands and a lot fewer divorces if a lot more wives knew and practiced encouraging their husband to grope them both mentally and physically.Whoa. Way to objectify gals, old man.This whole chapter is about justifying being a dirty-minded old pervert.”
12/29 page 44 17.0% Our variety in lovemaking sites has ranged from literally in the middle of several major highways…

I am certain that adds a certain spice to the relationship, but not one I shall be trying. I’m not suicidal, or an exhibitionist. This one seems appropriate for both.”

12/30 page 55 22.0% When the pocket flap button was unbuttoned, the front of the pocket fell down, and her entire breast would pop out of the pocket-sized hole cut in the vest.

We have a whole assortment of things popping out already, and we only just started with the cutting.

I don’t like how this guy seems to objectify his wife, and women in general. I’d like to know what her take on this *actually* is.”

12/31 page 64 25.0% To see if know what I am talking about… [sic]

Between this kind of writing, and the subject, I have started taking this as ‘Adult Fiction’, as I can’t stop laughing and giving spoilers to my friends.

I think they may be at the point they are tired of hearing about this book, but since they haven’t outright said it yet…

Besides, I’ll have to hear it again as they read it! Share and share alike.”

12/31 page 76 30.0% I like to cut the jeans into cutoff shorts, remove the thigh area of the jeans, and then put the lower pants legs back on as leggings.

There is a picture of this later in the book, and my man pointed out when he seen it that it looked stupid.

Can’t say I disagree with him.”

01/02 page 84 33.0% For the next several days, my wife had my name on her left cheek and “ASS” on her right cheek. I repeatedly bent her bare butt over so I could read it and check if it was still labeled as mine, and then I exercised my ownership privileges again each time.

*sigh* This guy doesn’t know how to treat a woman, despite his assertions. He describes his *wife* as a thing. Over and over again.”

01/02 page 92 36.0% I also joke about how I promised her the “moon and stars” before we were married – well, this is just one more care where I have delivered on my promise.

Bad joke. This book is rife with them.”

01/02 page 98 39.0% I don’t ever use any of the commonly available nipple clamps because my wife’s nipples are very sensitive, and we don’t like painful sex games at all.

But you sell the stuff on your website? I guess to each their own.”

01/04 page 115 46.0% My redesigning efforts are not going to be judged by neatness or proper finishing of the clothing…

At least not by anyone like me… *sarcastically smiles*

No, these outfits are an exercise in how much you can get away with with your spouse. Because if you tried it with your partner, they would leave you outright.

Probably why this is recommended by the author FOR MARRIED COUPLES ONLY!!

Sheesh.”

01/05 page 123 49.0% I like a playful squeeze or a few light pats there before I stroke her again.

This is a very nice sentiment, but all the focus is on him, not her. How does she react? Does she react?

Or is it like my friend suggested…?”

01/05 page 136 54.0% I imagine inside a brothel my ideas might be more popular, but this is just speculation on my part – I have never been in a brothel. I have been past several of them, including places like the famous Mustang Ranch in Nevada. They are legal in some of the wide-open, isolated areas, but I never stopped or went in.

Sure buddy. It’s your story. You tell it like you want.”

01/06 page 144 57.0% This book is just to share the ideas that have added to what we have done, and that has been so much fun for us.

Hey, it’s been fun for me too, but my face is getting sore from the frequent facepalms I keep giving myself!”

01/07 page 151 60.0% Six months after we started dating, while we were going steady, even though it was over 50 years ago, I still remember vividly the first time I held my wife when she had no bra on.

You know, you’re not making a very good case for your wife’s ‘good girl’, ‘conservative upbringing’ past.

If I had been caught wandering around in short-shorts, with or without a brassiere, I would have had my hide tanned.”

01/08 page 172 68.0% When cutting anything, keep the cutoff scraps until you are finished.

One of the few lucid moments in this book.

I am very much my grandmother’s (era’s) child. I save scraps. On almost everything! You never know when it will come in handy until you need it…”

01/09 page 183 73.0% There are several modifications that I have used often when an item would seem a little too tight a stretch for her waist or hips. I have made an outfit out of an item with just about a 16-inch original waist (8 inches laid flat). It was a cute pair of little toddlers’ jean shorts.*

NO! Just no! Ugh! Wrong.

*(Emphasis mine, not original.)”

01/09 page 194 77.0% She was playing the innocent but brazen little farm-girl tramp, and she got everything that she was looking for…

Ugh. I’m just trying to finish and get through this at this point… The end is in sight!

As a side note, this guy should really consider writing porn. I think he would do quite well with it, what with his limited inhibitions.”

01/09 page 203 81.0% “”The Alpha Male – It’s more than just being an ex-fratboy douchebag, who thinks he’s still on the high school football team. I’ll clue you in.”

This is a quote the author pulled from Just F*ck Me! – What Women Want Men to Know About Taking Control in the Bedroom (A Guide for Couples) by Eve Kingsley.

However, I don’t think this message sunk in, or else the author missed the point entirely.”

01/09 page 235 94.0% “”Men are only interested in two things: If I’m not horny, make me a sandwich.” – John

Dr. Laura has the training and experience to help people deal with the problems that they have created from NOT following the proper treatment of their spouse.

The above is an example of the author’s take on the proper way in which a wife must ‘treat’ her husband.

Needless to say, I’m glad I’m not married to him!”

01/09 page 236 94.0% Don’t think about these feelings as what your spouse owes you – think about these feelings about what you need to do to earn these feelings from your spouse. You wives need to work hard at being worth loving by your husband.

So, ladies, according to this guy, if your man don’t love you, or treat you right, it’s because you are not trying hard enough.

*BULLSHIT!*”

01/09 page 238 95.0% At least lots of sex is not permanently fattening. My wife did get very fat from it a few times, but it wasn’t a permanent condition.

NEVER, EVER call a pregnant woman fat. EVER!! That is the rudest, most disrespectful thing to say to a pregnant lady.”

01/09 marked as: read
As you can see, I was less than enchanted with this book. Just so much wrong with it, in so many ways.
On a redeeming note, I do think that the author shows a burgeoning talent to write pornography or erotica. But since those are not materials that I generally reach for, I probably won’t be rushing out to pick them up should he try his hand.
I also really like the fact that he is considerate and shops at second hands and thrift shops. As a gal on a tight budget, these are places I haunt when I have a little money. Even my teenaged kids are into it, and know that I can get them stuff for a fraction of the cost, and it really is a form of recycling, so it’s good for the environment. ScissorMan encourages his readers to save scraps and use them in various other projects.
However, based on his story at the end, involving an old button-up shirt, he seems to be wasteful and thrifty on alternating wavelengths. Instead of repurposing it for an outfit, it gets tossed in the trash. Alot of clothing winds up in the trash, it seems. And that kind of wastefulness is not my bowl of soup.
I do like that alot of the clothing he shops for is stained or damaged in some way (i.e., broken zippers, missing buttons, tears, etc.) and repurposes them. I do this with some of my own clothes, and make barbie and doll clothes from scraps for my kids to play with.
Another issue that others have noted is that while this book is (according to the author) to become required reading for “Whorehouses”, the author emphasizes that this book is for MARRIED COUPLES ONLY. Not for single folk (sorry, you have to figure things out on your own until marriage, it seems), or for you and your “shack-up honey”.
Because we all know that a dedicated relationship can only happen through marriage, and all marriages are sacred bonds that cannot be broken.
Yeah, right.
I won’t go into the details of my own relationship (it’s way too complicated to explain, but it works very well), but I am stuck somewhere between being the intended and the unintended audiences for this book. As a note to anyone wanting to write a book after reading this, DO NOT alienate a large portion of the market by saying that they are not to read your book because you don’t fit the authors demographic.
The author claims that many women are ‘brainwashed’ by the ‘feminism movement’, and therein their problems lie. I argue that this guy is a mysoginistic, sexist asshole who likes to take advantage of his wife and treat her as a thing and not as a woman – or worse  – an individual. There are more examples of this than I care to post here, but as a few examples:
“A good wife should also be ready to deliver everything her husband wants whenever he needs her…” (pg 37)
“However, you can grab the waistband or pockets of the jeans as you screw her and pull or push as hard as you can, and it won’t hurt a normal girl while grabbing or yanking her around.” (pg 53)
“I have always liked to walk behind a girl with a nice shape in a tight outfit and watch the way she moves. I discovered it is even better to have my fingertips pressed hard against the bare skin of her ass…” (pg 62)
“…it is the cowboy way to screw a pretty young heifer.” (pg 78)
“For the next several days, my wife had my name on her left cheek and “ASS” on her right cheek. I repeatedly bent her bare butt over so I could read it and check if it was still labeled as mine, and then I exercised my ownership privileges again each time.” (pg 84)
There were several other, and worse examples that I chose to not include above. I decided if you really would like to read them, you can probably find a discarded copy somewhere. Or ask!
Finally, I think this book, and it’s proposed sequel (MORE Dress for SEXcess) are nothing more than to advertise the online pornography website, dressforsexcess.com. There, the author sells sex toys, books, and solicits feedback for this site throughout the book. It seems that it is an intended repository for ‘adult’ materials and sexual stories. At one point the author adds a disclaimer that he gets a kick-back for anything sold through this site.
I am too shy and conservative to visit the site for myself, but if you do get curious, I’d like to know what you find.
As a closing note, I am passing this book off to my single male friend today. Perhaps he will find this useful, or entertaining. (I’m not holding my breath, though.)
As a closing note, I will share part of my place-holder review from GoodReads (by the time you read this, it will have been updated):
This one may take a while, kids. I have so many opinions about this book (you can check out the comments for some of those thoughts in the meantime), but it will take a bit to time to sort them out and put them into a concise article.
I don’t expect that this book will be hitting the NYT Best Sellers list, anytime soon, though. Maybe in the humor category?
Read the review on GoodReads. More locations to come!
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